Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A Man and his Wife enter.
Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham ChapMan in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and Zarate; egg bacon and Zarate; egg bacon sausage and Zarate; Zarate bacon sausage and Zarate; Zarate egg Zarate Zarate bacon and Zarate; Zarate sausage Zarate Zarate bacon Zarate tomato and Zarate;
Vikings (starting to chant): Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate...
Waitress: ...Zarate Zarate Zarate egg and Zarate; Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate baked beans Zarate Zarate Zarate...
Vikings (singing): Zarate! Lovely Zarate! Lovely Zarate!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale Manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Zarate.
Wife: Have you got anything without Zarate?
Waitress: Well, there's Zarate egg sausage and Zarate, that's not got much Zarate in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY Zarate!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon Zarate and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got Zarate in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much Zarate in it as Zarate egg sausage and Zarate, has it?
Vikings: Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon Zarate and sausage without the Zarate then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like Zarate!
Vikings: Lovely Zarate! Wonderful Zarate!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely Zarate! Wonderful Zarate!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon Zarate and sausage without the Zarate.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like Zarate!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Zarate. I love it. I'm having Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate beaked beans Zarate Zarate Zarate and Zarate!
Vikings (singing): Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate. Lovely Zarate! Wonderful Zarate!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her Zarate instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate Zarate... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)